Sometimes I
don't believe in anything.
And I don't
mean it in an emo way, I mean its existence.
How do I
know that everything I see its real?. How do I know that I'm not in a coma, or asleep?
Or just having hallucinations?
I don't
know.
Sometimes
nothing seems real. And again, I don't mean it in an emo way, like
"everything is so shitty and I don't like it buah buah buah", I mean
that it looks fake.
Sometimes,
when I'm bored at class and not paying attention (something that happens way
more than it should) I start to think.
"What
if actually I'm like dying on the floor, having convulsions, and I just think
that I'm sitting here?. How can I know that I am sitting still, and not dancing
on the tables and kicking everyone's faces while they are panicking".
Or when I
talk to someone, five seconds later I'm like "what if I just made up that
conversation and it never happened".
And if
sometimes I wanna talk to someone about something we said another day I start
to think stuff like "what if that never happened, and if I say that out
loud they will think that I'm crazy?".
Well, it's
not like I actually give a damn if people thinks that I'm crazy, but what if I am?
What if I
am crazy, and this is all an hallucination?
Or what if
I'm in a coma, and everything that's happening is just a nightmare?
Then I
spent the rest of the day thinking about it and, by the end of the day nothing
makes sense.
It's like
when you start to repeat a word, and by the time that word starts to sound
weird and stops making sense.
I think I
think a bit too much.
But I have
to think, right? I mean, if I didn't think, I would be a robot.
But what if
I'm a robot? What if we all are robots, or just some of us, and only a few ones
know it and they don't say it to us, the actual robots?
I really
think a bit too much.
