dimecres, 3 de febrer del 2016

Existence

Sometimes I don't believe in anything.

And I don't mean it in an emo way, I mean its existence.

How do I know that everything I see its real?. How do I know that I'm not in a coma, or asleep? Or just having hallucinations?

I don't know.

Sometimes nothing seems real. And again, I don't mean it in an emo way, like "everything is so shitty and I don't like it buah buah buah", I mean that it looks fake.

Sometimes, when I'm bored at class and not paying attention (something that happens way more than it should) I start to think.

"What if actually I'm like dying on the floor, having convulsions, and I just think that I'm sitting here?. How can I know that I am sitting still, and not dancing on the tables and kicking everyone's faces while they are panicking".

Or when I talk to someone, five seconds later I'm like "what if I just made up that conversation and it never happened".

And if sometimes I wanna talk to someone about something we said another day I start to think stuff like "what if that never happened, and if I say that out loud they will think that I'm crazy?".


Well, it's not like I actually give a damn if people thinks that I'm crazy, but what if I am?
What if I am crazy, and this is all an hallucination?

Or what if I'm in a coma, and everything that's happening is just a nightmare?



Then I spent the rest of the day thinking about it and, by the end of the day nothing makes sense.

It's like when you start to repeat a word, and by the time that word starts to sound weird and stops making sense.



I think I think a bit too much.


But I have to think, right? I mean, if I didn't think, I would be a robot.


But what if I'm a robot? What if we all are robots, or just some of us, and only a few ones know it and they don't say it to us, the actual robots?






I really think a bit too much.

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