My english progress

Given the fact that my first post only has 2 sentences ("Hi, my name is Aixa Aranda and I am 15 years old. I love watching TV Shows and I don't like humans.") I'm not quite sure how am I supposed to compare it to my last one. There's not much on my post of 4th of ESO because we didn't do anything during that year, so it'll be hard to compare. And that's pretty much the main difference from now and then; I (and the rest of the class, because for some strange reason we weren't asked to write posts) barely did anything and now I have a lot of posts (especially from this 3rd term, because in the 2nd one I just wrote one).
I do see some personal development though (reading all the posts on the blog, from the first one to the last one, because there's not enough in the first one to compare) and even though I still hate humans and love watching TV Shows, I think that in 4th of ESO I din't take things seriously, like for example in the alternative ending for Romeo and Juliet or the rabbit family tale, and now... well, now I don't take them seriously either, but instead of writing random stuff I whine about everything and I explain how much I hate it. I also think tat my older posts (especially the 1st of Batxillerat ones, like the one about my siblings the one about physical education) are ver angsty, while the most recent ones are not, they're just about me not caring at all instead of me being a very angsty human. And I did curse a lot more tha I do now. Honestly, that's not personal progress, because I don't see what's wrong with cursing, I only stopped it because last year's teacher told me to do so.
But actually, there's not that much of a development in any of the aspects I'm supposed to comment; as it has been demonstrated many times to me, times changes, but I don't.

My english competence in 2017

I believe that my best written evidence is either "Modern slavery in Spain" or Describe your soulmate/life parnter. I have chosen two because since I'm a very shy person I don't have any oral evidence posted in the blog and because it was the other part of the task, I have chosen two writings to make it up, even tough it probably won't.
I think that this two are the best ones because they are the only ones that are written in a """formal""" language, unlike 99% of my posts, and because even tough they have a considerable lenght, they are better structured than the others and the ideas don't repeat themselves all over the text like happens in most of my posts.

I don't know what I just wrote but it has 135 words

It's 1:13 a.m and I'm still awake, doing homework. It never ends. I literally finish tomorrow (well, at least officially), and here I am, on the last night, still studying. And as a person who is always tired no matter what, this is definitely the worst thing I could do. But well. I guess that I'm going to die anyway, whether if I sleep or I stay awake until who knows when. I can't wait for summer vacation and have long naps and sleep 10 hours per day and not doing anything else. I really hate school, which is pretty ironic if you think of it since I'm going to spend another year here and I probably won't do anything to solve it.
Then again, I'm going to die either way, so what's the point.

Intelligent people tend to be messy, stay awake longer, and swear more

According to this article, people who swear tend to have higher IQs. It starts by saying that even though it is commonly believed that people who swear have a limited vocabulary, people who doesn't swear are the ones that have a limited one, because in a certain way they are limiting their vocabulary by not saying any curse.
It continues by saying that people who tend to stay up late, and they're messy, since that way creativity flows better and they literaly say that  "If you don't spend much time cleaning and organizing everything around you, your mind is obviously occupied with more important stuff."

Link here.

Personal opinion

If this was true then I'd be a genius, but it's not, so I am not. I don't believe anything from this article, it doesn't make sense. It's a shame though, if it was true, then i could have some hope, but no.

Negative people die sooner

This article says that negative people will die sooner. After explainig a study that was performed where people's mental and physical healt was being tracked, it says that the researchers propose three different causes to this; the first one is that there may be a direct biological link between personality and health, noting that hat stress and depression have been correlated with such physical problems as hypertension and lower immune system responsiveness, the second one being the possibility of negative personality traits leading to poor self-care leading to death, and the third one, copying directly from the article"underlying neuroticism may "modify the prognosis of diseases after their onset."" and translating it into a language that I can understand because the previous statement is too much for my poor limitated and stupid mind; when people prone to anxiety or depression are given a diagnose they'll asume the worst and will put less effort into treatment.

Link here.

Personal opinion

Well, this article along with another one that I commented back in the first term, I am so going to die soon. 
I'm not sure if I should feel happy about it. I think I should. I don't know.
If I don't finish all my posts, you should take this into consideration; don't fail me, because you're dealing with a terminal person here, and since I'm going to die real soon, you could at least grant me the honor of not having to go to the recovery test next week.
Please.

Spain's 'lazy' young told by judges to get a life

This article explains how a 23-year-old woman has demaned to her parents to keep finacially supporting her as she studies, asking to be given 300€ at month. However, since it was noted by the court that she hadn't finished her secondary studies and even though her parents had given her money to study IT courses that she didn't complete either, they denied her request by saying that her conduct was "legally classifiable as one of abandonment, laziness and failure to take advantage".
It continues explainig how young people in Spain take longer to leave their family homes since the crisis started back in 2008, and impliying that it's closely tied with not finishing secondary studies.

Link here.

Personal opinion

I clicked on this article because, even though seeing the words "lazy" and "Spain" it's not surpsing at all, I found myself imagining how british people must have read this same article and I found it kind of funny. "Oh those spaniards are rubbish, thank God for Cameron, the brexit and tea! God save the queen hahaha *all said in a very brittish accent*".
Honestly, I'm not sure if this should be considered a piece of news as much as a huge relieve for the parents. I mean, the "ninis" (how they are known here in Spain) have been out there for years now, and I guess that this case going public is a small spark of hope for those parents who are stuck with that kind of kids (well, they're not that young anymore to be called kids.),
Still, it's very easy to ponit at the "ninis" and blame them for everything, instead of blaming what made them be how they are; how are they going to find a job, if there are none out there, and the few ones that are avalible pay a miserable salary? How can you blame them for dropping out of school if the educational system in Spain is pretty much the worst one in Europe, leading to have the highest drop rate? And of course, we also need to take into consideration the world where they have grown up, where the society praises partying, sex, drugs and alcohol and leaves behind stuyding and working. That society, being the same one that has been built that way to get rid of the opression of the older generations that, even though now all that they say is "older times were much better" or "con Franco esto no pasaba" (and that makes them worthy of being kicked in the face) that were way worse than ours.
This people have been doomed to grow in a country where everything is stucked and predestined to be a big mess. They haven't done anything but being born in the wrong country.
And even though I am by no means defending not doing anything (they should at least try), it just bothers me to see people mocking and insulting "ninis".
Right. Because discrediting them is way more effective than encouraging them to find a job or studying, while the PP, who is very much responsible for this, keeps winning every election  and is being voted by that same people who hate "ninis" and keep praising old times, perpetuating the chaos in this country and creating more "ninis" everyday.

We suck. We really suck.

Human rights

What are human rights?

Human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, language, or any other status. We are all equally entitled to our human rights without discrimination. These rights are all interrelated, interdependent and indivisible.

(http://www.ohchr.org/EN/Issues/Pages/WhatareHumanRights.aspx)

2. When and why were they created?

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) was adopted after the end of World War II on 10 December 10, 1948 by United Nation (UN) General Assembly in Paris. 

(http://www.blogactionday.org/2013/09/29/how-was-the-universal-declaration-of-human-rights-created/)

3. How many human rights are there?

30

Real-life 'Breaking Bad'

In this article, a high-school chemistry teacher has been pleaded guilty of cooking meth and other illegal stuff just like in the TV Show Breaking Bad. It is pointed that it is the same kind of person who commits the felony (middle-aged white man) with the same job (chemistry teacher) and in the same state (New Mexico).

Link here

Personal Opinion:

It is funny to see how a TV Show that I've seen comes to life like this (not like the other that I've commented before about Twin Peaks). It would be funny and go all the Breaking Bad way and create a huge drug empire out of that.
If only I knew chemistry.

Potential Benefits of Procrastination

In this article, six potential benefits of procrastination are explained, among them the possibility of having a great idea while procrasdtinating or realizing while you're procrastinating that what you're procrastinating it's not what you truly want, and then during your procrastination you decide what you truly want to do and that way you can start by doing so instead of procrastinating even more.

Link here.

Personal opinion:

I don't know if I agree with any of this potential benefits, it looks to me that this article is a procrastination itself, just the same as this post. Sorry.

The Hazel Drew mystery

In this article, one of the creators of the 90's drama Twin Peaks, Mark Frost,

Twin Peaks promotional poster

 says that the main plot of the show, Laura Palmer's murder, was based on a 

similar unsolved cased, Hazel Drew's murder.

Frost explains that his grandmother used to tell him Hazel Drew's story as a nightmarish bedtime story, and 20 years later, he created Twin Peaks half remembering the details of that sad tale.

During the article, Hazel Drew's murder is explained and also some of her last days, some conections she had with other people, what may have happened, some theories that were formed back in the day... Everything looking very familiar since many of those things also happened to Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks.

Personal Opinion:

I don't know what I'm supposed to opine about this, since we're talking about a real death and murder and stuff, so I'll just say that I'm really exited about the new season of Twin Peaks, and since I didn't know which news I could write about, I just googled "Twin Peaks" and this is the first result that showed up. 

And that's it. Very interesting article though.

Link here.

Informal letter

                                                 
                                                                                                                            No adress
                                                                                                                            Because this isn't real
                                                                                                                            18th of April, 2017

Dear imaginary friend named Michael,

I believe you have nomophobia, because that's just how things are. And, as the awesome friend that I am, I'll try to give you some advice to get over it.

First of all, I'll say that I understand what you're going through. You've got all the information that has ever existed at the palm of your hand just by typing the word you want to learn. Who doesn't like that?
But we live in a society where we encourage people to "live in the moment" and "enjoy the little things" , even though we spend our lives ignoring that moment and working for a future that may never come (because we chase it for all our lives but then we usually die while we're still chasing it).

So, my dear Michael, ignore your urges to check your phone and live in a reality built by other people that needs constant validation of all humanity, and do as they say.
Because spending your life looking at a small screen is obviously a bad thing, but spending it studying things you don't like to get a job that you'll probably hate and then die realizing that you have wasted your short exsistence as much as you would have looking at the phone the whole time is definitely better, right?
At the end of the day, people that hate so much mobiles are the people who just hate everything and complain about everyone (those damn nowadays kids and their phones!), and the ones that love them and praise them are zombificated creatures that can't live without their Instagrams.

Do what you want, Mike. Keep your nomophobia or get over it. Both are bad, but I'll be your (imaginary) friend anyway.
Always yours,
Aixa

Describe your soulmate/life parnter

I think I should start this compostion explainig my views on soulmates and explaining my own definiton of it, leading that to the description of my soulmate; otherwise it would sound very narcissistic/egocentrical. So, that being said; I will proceed to do so.
I don't believe in the exsistence of a soulmate/perfect life partner. I believe that our exsistence as a race is nothing but an accident caused by the crash of two "big rocks"  in the space a billion years aog; no one created us with a special path designed for each one of us nor we are supposed to meet someone who will make our life complete or will make us feel "whole" again. According to my theory, we walk alone our whole lives thinking that we have the world at he palm of our hands when at the end of the day the only thing that's truly awaiting for us at the palm of our hands is death.
What I'm trying to say with this is that the only thing that we will ever get to know in its fullness and true form is death, not another human being. Therefore, according to the popular definition of the word "soulmate" (or perfect life partner), I believe there is only one fitting candidate to be mine, the only one that I will ever get to know evem better than I will know death: me. And again, I am in no way trying to be narcissistic or egocentrical.
And what can I say about myself, my soulmate, that isn't already known? My name is Aixa, I'm 18 years old, I've got brown eyes and brown hairm like almost everyone in this country, I am tall, which is great even though I can't fully understand why, I am currently studying a hellish thing called "Batxillerat", the only thing that I believe that I trly enjoy in this world is fiction (in any form: books, movies, videogames, TV series...) and I think I dislike reality very much, and my only quality is also my biggest fault; we could consider that I've been blessed with the curse of being completely useless, not good at anything and a bit (and saying "a bit" because without that "a bit" sounds kinda harsh) worthless; this incapacitates me of doing anything good or worth it, but at the same time it saves me from doing any effort in order to succeed because I know I'll never will, giving me a lot of time to waste away.
So, even with my quality/fault of being the best at being the worst at everything, I enjoy very much being my soulmate and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life by my side, which undoubtely, I will.

Modern slavery in Spain

Spain, country of "sunshine and joy", as it has been defined since the dawn of times. Country of "sangria", "sevillanas" and "siestas", as it is percieved around the world. The country where people sleep during the day and parties all night, only leaving a small amount of time for the tourists to trash everything they see, the locals to yell at each other and for the government to steal everything while no one is looking. What a wonderful place to live in!
My question is, in such a great and lovely country, is it possible for slavery to exsist? Well, as a matter of fact, it is. Ignorion (or just not knowing) what is probably happening behind closed doors, there are some secotrs of the population that are being legally exploited.
These people work a huge amount of hours for a miserable salary, and they probably won't have chances to have a better future. They are called "Spanish citizens".
They are being enslaved by a criminal group known as "Partido Popular"; this group, along with many others that remain in the shadows, have taken a country that was agonizing straight to the grave, dragging with it all this group of "Spanish citizens".
Everyday that passes, the "spanish citizens" have it harder and harder to acess to health care because the "Partido Popular" has been wrecking it since t got its hands on it; their kids have an education whose quality is decreasing by the minute, because that's how the "PP" (as the "Partido Popular is commonly known) wants it; the jobs are dissapearing and the ones that are still avalible have a ridiculous salary; the prices for almost everything keep getting higher and higher, while the money of the "spanish citizens" is at a downfall...
And still, somehow the "Partido Popular" has been enslaving these "spanish citizens" for a onsiderable amount of years, and they probably spend at least another four years ruinning people's lives. How is it possible that, in a so-called advanced country like Spain is supposed to be, this keeps going on and on? Someone should do something!
But for today, let's just pray for them from the comfort of our houses, waiting for someone else to do what needs to be done.

Not knowing what to do

As I find myself in the middle of a philosophy test that I'm not even taking (because it's not even worth the try anymore) I feel that I'm doing a huge mistake and that I'm consciously walking into the biggest failure of my life yet, and taking into consideration who I am, we could agree that that bar is set up very high. Yet still, I'm going to raise it even more.

And here I sit, being a complete and utter failure and constant disappointment to everyone, but I don't even care. I'm pretty sure that I don't even care about pretty much anything, I'm only able to feel a general sensation of anxiety  (which has become something permanent for me) and the lack of sleep that is starting to get hard to ignore.

And there he is, the philosophy teacher, walking around the class with what could be considered my death sentence by his hand, looking so small (like seriously, he's very small) but being so enormously annoying (and feel free to tell him I said that if you feel like it) and giving us a quantity of work that could easily outsize him. I'm so not going to cope with everything another year. I'll just fail again, and then I'll die.

But well.  There's nothing that I can't do right now. And we're all going to die anyway, David included. I'll bug him when we're in hell as a sort of vengeance.

Being about to become extinguished (I wish)

Human beings are awful creatures that deserve nothing but being completely vanished from Earth for good. We keep killing each other for the most stupid reasons that our limited minds could create. We fight in the name of an all-mighty fictional character that has the same chances of being real as Santa Claus (not trying to sound offensive if you're a believer) who says that our existences should be as quiet as possible and if someone tries to make something with her/his life that leaves a bit behind what he says, deserves to be stoned to death.

We create wars in order to win land that gets destroyed in the process and, if it was conscious, would hate us even more than I do.

We let other humans live among misery and starve to death in order to complete a stupid collection of papers which are given a huge value when at the end of the day they're nothing more than that, just a bunch of colored papers.

We have created a society that probably excludes like 80-85% of itself just because of who they are, how they have been born, where you must do what you are told or otherwise the other members will hate you forever and make your existence impossible.

We're nothing more than just a bunch of accidents that were created in a crash between two big rocks that somehow believes that it's entitled to everything, including, literally, everything.

We suck so much as a race. We really do.

But well, by the (not so) recent turn of events it looks like we're about to become extinguished; if Trump doesn't kill us, Putin will, or the Noth-Korean guy, and if they don't, the artic will melt and we'll be drowned.

I can't wait for it :D.

Being dead.

I believe that at this point we're all dead. Keeping up with 2nd of Batxillerat has killed us all. Well, I'm pretty sure that I was already dead long before that, but just by looking at everyone else's faces it's easy to see that we've been murdered.

And even though I'm aware that I'll fail and next year, while all my classmates are at college, I'll still be here, I can't get the strength that it takes to do a final effort to get better grades at the subjects that I'll actually pass.

It's not laziness like everyone thinks. It's just that I'm dead.

I find it kind of funny because everyone keeps telling me that I should try to make it, I should try to pass philosophy and Spanish, but it's pretty much impossible. I'm supposed to do in a couple of weeks what I haven't been able to do in 2 years of Spanish and 1 of philosophy.

Maybe I can't do it because I can't focus. No matter how hard I try, I just can't. And when I try, my anxiety decides that it's a great moment to pop up and make everything worse.

Or maybe I'm just dumb. I think I'm dumb. Or maybe just happy.

All that I know is that for the past two years I've become a needless and empty vessel that somehow manages to pass a few tests with two meals a day, three to six hours of sleep and not a single second that won't be regretted later. Apart from that, my ability to focus has disappeared and my anxiety has gone from "a lot" to "taking over your entire existence".

I hate everyone. I went from "slightly annoyed person" to "grumpy the 2nd dwarf". I hate even more that I'll be doing this awful 2nd of Batxillerat thing for two years of my life. And I hate even more to be told that "I'm not trying hard enough/should try harder/shouldn't give up".

Why fight for something that's already lost?

Would a blind person be asked to read? Then why someone as dumb/useless as me is asked to "try harder"? 

I'm mentally dead anyway. I just keep moving foward because of inertia.

Not being able to focus

During this awful year that 2nd of Batxillerat is, I've been having serious issues to focus. Back in the day like, 2 years ago, I didn't have a single problem with just sitting down and studying, but nowadays it's just impossible. As soon as I sit, I start to get anxious and I can't read or write properly, so eventually I just stand up and start wandering around the house. And I just can't help it. I can't stay focused for more than a quarter of an hour/half an hour. So I get bad grades (even though I would probably get them anyway). And in order to make it right, I have to study harder, which was the first problem, and I really just can't. Everyone keeps telling me to "try harder" but I just can't, it's not as easy as they think. It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just that I can't. It's getting harder by the day, and when I think about it and try to find a way to solve it, I just get even more anxious and have it even worse.

Perhaps it's because I have a huge amount to work to do. I know that most times, teachers give us that amount of work because that's the way things are and they can't do it any other way, but there are other times that some ones, like for example our beloved philosophy teacher, that gives us a huge amount of work that is completely useless and that he doesn't even check, just for the sake of making us suffer, enjoying making things hard for us. Or at least that's what it seems.

Then many people fail and drop out, never go to college and never make anything with their lives. And if they don't make anything with their lives, they don't make anything with everyone else's and nothing ever changes; and just by that, we are stuck forever in a loophole where everything is bad and hard and Rajoy is still president and out country is a complete and utter mess that makes it hard for people to study and work and change things, and it goes on and on.

So, is it our philosophy teacher's fault that Rajoy is still president? Yes. Did I just got distracted again? Of course. Did I just drifted away from the topic that I wanted to talk about, like always happens when I try to study? Definitely.

Do I even know what I just wrote? No.

Being a bad person

From time to time, I start to think about how much I hate everyone, and I wonder if it makes me a bad person. I sometimes realize that I even hate some "close" friends of mine.

Does it make me a bad person? When you think bad things about the people that surrounds you, when you have awful fantasies (like fantasizing about preforming a mass murder in high school and killing everyone), when you believe that some people shouldn't exist, and you say to yourself "I'd murder this one if I could". Does that make you a bad person if the thought never leaves your brain?

If you From time to time, I start to think about how much I hate everyone, and I wonder if it makes me a bad person. I sometimes realize that I even hate some "close" friends of mine.

Does it make me a bad person? When you think bad things about the people that surrounds you, when you have awful fantasies (like fantasizing about preforming a mass murder in high school and killing everyone), when you believe that some people shouldn't exist, and you say to yourself "I'd murder this one if I could". Does that make you a bad person if the thought never leaves your brain?

If you fantasize about murdering people, but you actually never preform the murder, and you never tell it to anyone, does it make you a bad person?

You have the idea, but you never do anything about it. You just have the idea, which is something you can't avoid. And if you can't avoid it, does it mean that us, humans, are just evil by nature? Are we just evil creatures that manage to control their "evil impulses" to live next to each other just because we need it in order to survive?

Yes.

Is jealousy natural?

Is jealousy natural?

I have two dogs. And bigger one, and, obviously, a smaller one. 

They share their toys. And they usually ignore them, but when one picks up one and starts playing with it, the other one will appear out of the blue just to try to take it away from the one that has it. She could have been doing anything, yet still if either one of them sees the other one playing with one of the toys, they will try to steal it away.

A while later, when one of them has managed to steal it and the one that had the toy in the beginning has finally given up and left, the "thief" will get tired of it soon enough and leave it behind, forgetting how much she has fought to get it. Sometimes (this is usually done by the bigger one, taking advantage of her size, even though they both do it), they will take the toy from the other one just to hide it away. The stealer won't even play with it, she just buries it somewhere so the other won't find it and won't be able to use it.

But, that is nothing compared with how they react when one of them is interacting with a human. Several times, it has come to a point where they bark and sometimes even attack (not in a serious way though) at the one that is being paid attention to, till the point where that one leaves sacred and confused, and the attacker approaches the human like nothing had just happened.

What I am trying to prove with this, is that jealousy is indeed a natural thing.

Dogs are probably the most basic creatures on earth. And despite what humans like to believe, we are by no means better than them. We are nothing but wild creatures that somehow have managed to create a language and a society.

We could just extrapolate what happens with my dogs to humans, creating a theory based on the fact that since dogs, better than us in almost every aspect (decency, kindness, loyalty…) feel jealousy, we, a lesser, more selfish and evil race, definitely feel it too.

Commonly, we use the same definition for envy and jealousy, but according to this article from the website “Psychology Today” they are not the same. While it defines envy as “a state where you experience yourself as lacking something that will lead you to be admired as much as you secretly admire the person who has the desired attribute or possession you envy”, jealousy is defined as assuming that “someone else is receiving the attention, love, or adoration that you want for yourself, which is provided by someone from whom you want it” creating a threat to your relationship, and leading to “an anger response that may result in aggressive and offensive behavior”.

So, in a certain way, this definition could easily be a justification in order to stop this essay right now, since it confirms that jealousy is indeed natural, somehow caused by the fear of losing someone/something that we love against someone else who may seem better, and fear, being the powerful emotion that it is, leads us to do anything in order to keep that someone/something from being stolen from us.

We are, after all and like I said before, nothing but wild creatures dominated by our instincts, that, no matter how hard we try to repress, always end up consuming us. So, from my perspective, jealousy is a natural thing. But in no way I’m trying to justify it; we, the so-called “”” superior and intelligent race”””, should learn how to at least control ourselves from bothering other people (and perhaps even hurting them) because of our instincts, we should analyze the situation and realize that most of the times, we have no reason to be jealous, and if we do, it is probably a lost cause anyway.

So, as a final conclusion, even though it is natural, we should try to control it.

Not being inspired

I don't feel inspired and I don't know what to write about.
I am incapable to understand why all my so-called inspiration leaves me when I need it the most. As the huge procrastinator that I am, I forgot to write all the posts and I have to do all of them now. And I just can't think of anything to write about. It's annoying, because, like every other human (I guess) my mind goes on and on the entire day, it doesn't stop thinking at any time, not even for a second, but when I need it the most, it just abandons me.
I don't know what to do about it. Maybe a little bit of organization would help; that way I wouldn't find myself with all the posts to do in an afternoon, but I don't know. It's just not for me. I do what I do as I do because I want to whenever I want to.